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How To Totally Screw Up An Email Campaign

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Want an example of how to totally screw up an email campaign? Just tick off the people you send the email to by misidentifying them as someone else, and then make them laugh because your offer is ridiculous anyway. Check out this email (with URLs changed because I don't want anyone getting any kind of credit for this, and with bolded sections to highlight the ridiculousness, or to add my own comments):
**********
Hello (this was left blank, so the automated software obviously didn't have a name),

We are proud to let you know with great pleasure that your company
www25.zzzzzzzzzzzz.zzz/~seoorg/newsletter (not my site, btw) has been selected as a "Certified SEO Company". (Thanks, but um, you can't certify me.) Being SEO certified displays your credibility and contribution in the field of search engine optimization. (Oh, really?)

The SEO certification is awarded free of cost to selected internet
marketing companies based on the site quality and level of SEO services. In
the past, we have promoted and appreciated companies having excellent
search engine optimization skills.

To activate and manage your profile login to:

https://www.asdfasfsafasfsfsf.org/
Username: geekGeasdsdylRfbrr31
Password: 8KsdfONVsdfsdfzZvrv25

(Um, no thanks, I don't think so.)

Please login to the above account and activate your profile. This will help
you display "Certified SEO Company" logo on your website. Displaying the
logo on your website assures your clients that you truly understand Search
Engine Optimization and use it to the best of your abilities. (Sorry, but your logo would be misleading clients, not assuring them of my knowledge).

If you are unable to login then please email us at info@asdfadfwefwfwefs.org

Regards,

awefwefwafwaefwf.org

This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential to the
intended recipient and may be privileged. If you are not the intended
recipient, please notify the sender immediately. (No, I'd rather blog about it.) Whilst we have used anti-virus software to alert us to the presence of computer viruses, we cannot guarantee that this email and any files transmitted with it are free from them.

*****

So, unless you are absolutely positive that you aren't going to misidentify someone, don't personalize your emails. Oh, and then of course, it would be nice if what you were offering wasn't misleading as well. Just a little tip for ya there. 😉